Belonging in a Country That Doesn’t Feel Like Yours (Yet)
- Lina Gabbaoan
- Apr 6, 2025
- 2 min read
Updated: Dec 1, 2025
For the ones quietly aching for connection, identity, and home far from everything familiar.
Maybe you moved for love.
Maybe you followed your dreams.
Maybe you just needed to start over.
But now you’re here, standing in a grocery aisle where nothing looks familiar, smiling politely at conversations you only half-understand, scrolling through messages from back home with a lump in your throat.
And you’re wondering:
“When will this feel like my life?”
The Weight of Displacement
Living abroad isn’t always glamorous.
Beyond the social media posts and family back home saying, “You’re so lucky!”, there’s often
Quiet dinners where you miss the noise of home.
Friendships that feel surface-level or transactional.
Struggles to express who you really are in a new language.
Long walks where you feel invisible.
Holidays that don’t quite feel like holidays anymore.
You may love parts of this new place and still ache for your old life.
Both can be true.
Loneliness Doesn’t Always Mean You’re Alone
Even surrounded by people like your partner, classmates, or colleagues, you can still feel deeply disconnected.
That’s because belonging isn’t about presence.
It’s about being understood. Accepted. Seen.
Migrant mothers tell me,
“I miss being known without explaining myself.”
Students share,
“I feel like a shadow version of who I used to be.”
Expat partners admit,
“I have no idea where I fit in this world anymore.”
Why Belonging is an Emotional Need
When you don’t feel like you belong, it doesn’t just affect your mood; it impacts your confidence, relationships, and even your health.
You might notice:
Withdrawing socially.
Feeling ashamed of your accent or culture.
Comparing yourself constantly.
Questioning if you're “too sensitive” or “not adapting fast enough”.
But you’re not failing.
You’re human. And grieving the loss of familiarity is part of becoming.
How to Slowly Rebuild a Sense of Belonging
You don’t have to wait for the perfect friend group or career breakthrough.
Sometimes, belonging starts with you.
Begin doing small things that reflect your culture (food, music, prayer, rituals).
Seek out spaces that celebrate difference, not just tolerate it.
Let yourself be known, even if it's just to one person.
Write letters to your past self and your future self.
Remind yourself: you deserve to belong, even before you feel it.
Belonging isn’t something you earn by adapting.
It’s something you cultivate by allowing yourself to be real.
You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
Whether you’re a student, expat partner, or mother trying to rebuild far from home, there’s space for your story here.
I offer Belonging & Identity Coaching, especially for migrant women, students, and expats who feel emotionally adrift.
You don’t have to shrink, perform, or “fix” yourself to feel worthy of connection.
Let’s talk gently about where you are and how you can begin to feel at home again, from the inside out.
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